RainmakerUCS

beginner artist/furry animator

About Me

Not sure if you’ve heard of me before, but I’m your average 12-year-old. That’s right, I’m a teen furry! I do manage a Discord server, so feel free to join! However, you can only join via monthly invite campaigns (after all, it’s a single person handling a small server, so I don’t have boosts). I also have a character.ai account with some really freaky bots lmao

CONTENT WARNING

Despite the animated nature, you might come across themes that may be unsuitable for younger viewers (under 13). However, some of my videos and songs have excessive mentions of suicide and/or issues related to cyberbullying (those are rated 14+). All NSFW or mentioning NSFW content will be rated 16+. If intense, it will be rated M (Meant for Adults/ (ESRB Reference!!!) Mature 17+). So, just ‘watch’ out for that. (Get it? I was talking about a watch.)

My Mental Issues

I’m not sure if I should be ashamed for saying this, but I’m suffering from depression and possibly schizophrenia.Some days, it feels like I’m trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and hopelessness, as if any sense of joy I experience is fleeting—just a mirage that vanishes the moment I try to grasp it.
It’s exhausting to constantly battle my own thoughts, to question what’s real and what’s just a trick of my mind.My emotions fluctuate between numbness and unbearable weight, and no matter how much I try to distract myself, that sinking feeling always finds a way back in.No matter how much I achieve, it never feels like enough; my mistakes overshadow my progress, making every victory feel hollow. I pick apart every decision I’ve made, replaying moments I wish I could change, as if rewriting the past would somehow fix the way I feel now.My second album, RESET:STRESS, was my attempt to capture these struggles through music, pouring my emotions into every lyric, every note—but even that feels like a double-edged sword.It serves as a reflection of my pain, but instead of being cathartic, it sometimes feels like a reminder of everything I’ve done wrong rather than something to be proud of.It’s frustrating to look in the mirror and see someone I can’t bring myself to love, as if my failures have defined me more than anything else.
I feel like I’m stuck in a body and mind that I can’t control, as if I’m a spectator in my own life, watching myself make mistakes I can’t undo.I hate who I am because of this, and I don’t know how to break free from it.It’s a cycle of self-loathing, a war within myself that I don’t know how to win, and sometimes, I wonder if I ever will.

Has anyone found out yet?

RESET:STRESS releasing May 21st